I have fallen head over heels in love with my awkward young assistant Tim. Tim smells of slight perspiration and Mt. Dew. Tim wants to hate me because I got the director's job instead of him, but he is too divine to feel that strong.
Tim is unsure where to walk when we are together. I make it hard for him to pace his giraffe strides to mine and I expect him to let me walk ahead of him into every room. Except I am so new I do not know where I am going and hate to have Tim tell me anything, he is my bitch after all. That and I think he prays under his sweet breath.
He is so nervous he might actually touch me he will dart willy nilly in my way and we both stop short and look at each other. I should just say, "Ok kiss me now I know you want too", just to get it over with but there is probably some sort of harassment policy somewhere that I would have to use on him in the future just to keep my job.
If I look directly at him he cannot talk to me. So I stay in my office and yell for his comfort.
"Tim! My little gerbil. Stop sucking on your pop water bottle, and tell me where the incident reports are. I feel the need to fire someones ass!"
I will hear the sound of his chair squeak as he uncoils his long body and clump to the file cabinet at my command.
I will get him to swear by next week. Then swear his undieing love for me by payday.
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